it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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