dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
