I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
