Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
