Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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