I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
