Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
