He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
