I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
