I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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