she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
