I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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