Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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