Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
