Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
