I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
