I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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