I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
