soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
