and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
