I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
