well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
