No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
