dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
