I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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