So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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