This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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