U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
