oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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