i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Randomize
