I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
