I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
