I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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