A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
