my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
