someone threw a dead crab at me
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
