i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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