OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
They have beer where we have blood.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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