Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
How external is "for external use only"?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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