So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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