If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
