My sheets look like a crime scene.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I intend to get homeless drunk
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
