please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
