Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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