So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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