; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
