Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
