I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
