I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
