i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
