she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
