why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
