oh god the rape fog is back!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
