I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize