One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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