Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
he had hair everywhere except his balls
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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