I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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