I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
