we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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