Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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